Caption Competition: Friday 25th July

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The closing date for the competition will be Friday night or when our Editor 'gets their arse into gear'. The winner will be selected in a frustratingly arbitrary and capricious way. The Judge’s verdict is final and has probably been influenced by bribery. Late entries will be late.

The winning caption will be posted and preserved on Newsbiscuit, with the winner's name and all the subsequent notoriety that implies.

Dunkirk Re-Enactment Slammed for "Several Historical Inaccuracies."

Winner: FlashArry

Runners-Up:

"Sharks demand clearer menu photos." (Sydalg);

"'Our policy on sewage treatment can end the nightmare of overcrowded beaches for ever' announces Southern Water." (Midfield Diamond.)

Mick Hucknall Comeback Tour Cursed by Angry Poltergeist.

Winner: DickEveryman

Runners-Up:

"Neil Young improvises a juggling act after mistakenly turning up at the Glastonbury Circus Stage instead of the Pyramid." (Midfield Diamond)

"Comedian struck by attack of microphobia." (Sirlupus);

Special Award to FlashArry for his efforts in recycling:

"Lazio falconer sacked for sharing explicit photos of prosthetic penis"